Exploring the Season of Loneliness

Shannon Martin 0:00

Hello , beautiful , welcome to today's conversation where we're going to talk about the season of loneliness . Let's talk about it . I am your host , Shannon Martin , and welcome to today's episode of this Thing Called Wellness . Welcome back for another episode . I thank you for listening in .

Shannon Martin 0:22

Last week , we talked about healing through art and finding which art form you enjoy and works for you Whether it be dancing , coloring , painting or listening to music to help relieve your stressors or tension . Find the thing you love and incorporate it into your routine whenever you feel the need to relax and have some me time . This week , I want to talk about loneliness . The holiday season is upon us and a lot of us find this time of the year especially painful . This year is going to be challenging for my family as well , but for now , I want to talk to you about when I felt the most vulnerable and alone during my darkest times . I don't know when it started , I just know it kind of creeped in one day the feeling of loneliness . I know the phrases are you alone or are you just lonely , and you're choosing to be alone and all of that . But when you have a bout with depression and his friend anxiety tag along , you find yourself feeling alone a lot of the time . As I was lying in bed , I started to cry . I didn't know why I was crying , I just was . Through the sadness . I realized that I felt so alone . Although all of my children were home at this time and my husband was there for me , I just didn't feel truly understood . Yes , my family was watching me to make sure I was okay and didn't do anything to harm myself . My husband would always come up and check on me and ask if I'm okay , which I appreciated , but I still felt empty and lonely . I can't explain the emptiness I felt , the sadness and the sheer desire to not want to do anything or talk to anyone , but things I just couldn't understand . So I laid there , I was trying to understand what was going on inside and one day I just decided I wasn't going to try to understand it anymore . I just wanted to get through this .

Shannon Martin 2:25

At this time I didn't have the friends that I do now to have lunch with or just meet up with . To get out of the house I hadn't started talking to my other friends who were managing their mental wellness . I just existed in my little space watching very depressing shows on TV and just sitting in the loneliness that I was feeling . I wasn't trying to be strong , I wasn't trying to understand it anymore . I gave into my emotions and just felt the emptiness for however long it was going to be there until I could will it away . I guess this was my season of loneliness . A season of loneliness and isolation is when the butterfly gets its wings . Remember that the next time you feel alone , Mandy Hale .

Shannon Martin 3:11

Now that I look back at this moment in time and in my journey , I realized that I needed it . If there was a need for trust in the process , this would have been it . I was allowing myself to feel for the first time in years , albeit not in an ideal emotion . I let it be . For years , I had been suppressing my emotions and pushing them down so far that I had disconnected from my life to the point that I couldn't feel or express myself as I should . As I began to allow myself to open up , allow myself to be vulnerable , I was beginning to feel lighter . My family didn't understand how I was feeling and when I tried to explain it , of course it went over as though I wasn't fighting to get well . As far as they could see .

Shannon Martin 3:56

I was a shell of who I used to be and was just existing . At first it took a lot out of me , more than I anticipated , but when I sat still and embraced the loneliness , I began to have more conversations with God , had more inward conversations with myself . I began to think about what I wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to grow . I would replay some decisions I made in my mind and made peace with them . I would sit there and just think Mostly about ME . I hadn't done this in a very long time and it felt strange . But during the season of loneliness I made several decisions about the woman I wanted to become and the direction I wanted to go . I was having several inward discussions . All the things that we think about when we're getting older and the kids are leaving the nest were running through my mind . Sometimes I would journal my thoughts when I remembered or I'd record was voice memos . Just talking my way through my thoughts , looking back . This was time I seriously needed . I hadn't put myself first in years and the long time was intended for me to grow and understand my value .

Shannon Martin 5:07

Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself . Rupi Kaur , sure enough , my season of loneliness has passed Just as it came . It slowly went away . I began to hear the answers to the questions I asked . and I started to listen , and abide by what God instructed me to do , I got up and reached out for help . I didn't feel alone in this battle of my mind anymore . I felt a sense of relief and peace , knowing that I was doing the work .

Shannon Martin 5:35

I used to hear this phrase all the time doing the work . I never understood it until that moment . My interpretation of it was to do the inner work . Take your time and be still . Talk to God and trust his process that he is taking you through , because every day I continue to do the work . I let go understood and trusted . I started to trust me and the decisions I made about my mental health . I began to feel and have honest conversations with my husband about how I had been feeling all these years . I was always one to keep things to myself , to keep the peace , but this had to change . I needed to be more gentle with myself and free myself from all the negative emotions I was piling onto me from my loved ones . I needed to continue to emphasize that I don't know where this path is taking me , but I'm getting stronger in my faith and belief in myself .

Shannon Martin 6:32

Mindful moment , during my season of loneliness I wasn't sure what was happening to me and I tried to abide by what others were telling me to do . It wasn't until I chose to trust the process and trust that my faith would pull me through . I came out on the other side of my loneliness season . Not many do I often hear people say I don't understand how someone can allow themselves to let life or depression get to them to the point where they no longer want to exist . I never let that happen to me . Or that someone is just lazy when they are fighting the hardest battle of their life . I get it . I understand how the darkness and emptiness of loneliness can make a person feel that there isn't a light at the end of any tunnel . You feel as if you were truly alone in this battle and that no one sees , hears or truly understands your pains . I do . I get it . But I want you to keep in mind is that this is a season , no matter how long it takes . I always remember that tomorrow is another day to try again . There is a light at the end of the tunnel . You are important . Your life matters . You're transforming and growing your wings . You're coming out on the other side , beginning a new phase of your life where you get to navigate and become a more resilient , beautifully transformed version of yourself . You will be able to handle all the trials and tribulations ahead of you on your journey to healing .

Exploring Mental Health and Connection

Shannon Martin 8:03

Hope you have enjoyed this week's conversation . I'm your host , Shannon Martin . Join us next Wednesday when we talk about Breaking Free from Loneliness , building connections . If you enjoyed today's episode , please share with someone you think would like to join the conversation . Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional . The information provided here is for a general informational purpose school , and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice , diagnosis or treatment . If you need help , please consult a qualified mental health professional .