Shannon D Martin: 0:00

Hello, beautiful welcome to today's conversation where we're going to talk about healing memories, coping with the new diagnosis and medication.

Speaker 2: 0:10

Let's talk about it.

Shannon D Martin: 0:12

I'm your host, Shannon Martin, and welcome to today's episode of this thing called wellness. Hello again. I know it's been a while since we last talked, but we're back in the phrase I didn't expect to be as long as I have, but I did need to pause.

Speaker 2: 0:32

I was in what my son likes to call buffering mode and I just couldn't get to the next thing, so I decided to rest. I talked about this all the time and didn't listen to my body or my mind. I was feeling very meh and had been feeling this way for a very long time. I mean, I'm just not opening my 2024 Planners for the year and it's mid March, at the end of the first quarter. I badly needed a refresh and I forgot that I was set to go on another women's retreat. I was so bummed out that I almost didn't go. If it weren't for my husband and my hating the hassle of exchanging my plane ticket, I wouldn't have gone. But I went and I was so glad that I did. It was just what I needed. And this time I felt different. I can't explain it, but it was just different. While I was at the retreat, one of the ladies who knows me oh so well. She said Shannon, you look exhausted and I was. I told her I truly was. I didn't know what was going on with me, but I was just tired all the time and I said that I was going to my doctors and they're running tests to see what is really going on. I was hoping that it wasn't another depression episode or something else. So far, doctors aren't seeing anything wrong no anemia or thyroid issues. So we're just going to keep going. I'm going to take my vitamins and just keep working on my sleep routine and if anything comes up. I'm just going to keep going back to the doctors until we can find what's making me exhausted.

Speaker 2: 2:13

When I came home and began to get back into my day-to-day routines, I was just extremely fatigued, more so than before. My husband was so concerned. He kept coming to the bedroom to check in on me to see if I was okay, and I was, but I just wanted to sleep. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in, Leonard Cohen.

Speaker 2: 2:41

It wasn't until I couldn't catch my breath and my legs were so restless that they began to hurt and it began to affect my sleep that we really began to worry. I was telling a friend about what I was experiencing, thinking it was just another bad anxiety episode, trying to take my medication and, you know, do my breathing techniques and using my sleep mask and all the things, but nothing worked. My husband finally said I think it's time for you to go to the emergency room. And so was my friend. But y'all, I didn't really want to go. I had my fill of the emergency room and hospitals with my mom and I was simply going to try and fix myself.

Speaker 2: 3:22

But on the third night I couldn't sleep. So I made an appointment with urgent care and one of the nurses called me and said hey, what's going on with you? I see that you are having some breathing problems? And I told her what was happening and she said hmm well, I think you need to go to the emergency room, because there they have new labs and equipment to better handle your situation. This may be more serious than you think, so we're gonna advise you to go there.

Speaker 2: 3:49

So off I went, got in, they began to take my EKG, everything was fine and as I was waiting for my to get my X-rays, and you know, the doctor came in and she said okay, well, your heart rate is good, but we're concerned about your travel. Okay, well, that was weird. Why are you concerned about my travel? Okay, well, while you wait on the X-ray, we're gonna give you an IV and since you're having, of course, elevated anxiety, we're gonna give you something for that, to keep you calm while you're waiting for your X-rays, etc. We're gonna get X-ray with the ultrasound of your legs. So that made me think okay, this is more than just anxiety.

Speaker 2: 4:32

After a couple hours, after all the testing was done, she said this is what we thought. You have a blood clot behind your left knee is what we call deep vein thrombosis. I was like what, what is that and how did I get that? I have so many questions, right? She said we believe you got it from your travels on the plane. When you're sitting for hours on a plane and you're bent a knee, you can contract a blood clot. Never knew that here. I was thinking it was just simple. You know, like I had COVID or some type of breathing problem or anxiety, and now you're telling me that I have a blood clot. She said well, Mrs. Martin, don't think of it that way. Because of your breathing issues, if you hadn't come in, we may have been having a different conversation right now, because if your blood clot had broken off and traveled anywhere else is what we call embolism we'd be having a very difficult discussion right now. So be thankful that you came in, because of your breathing and because of your legs that you're here.

Speaker 2: 5:48

And so I've been around my mother long enough with all of her heart issues, well enough to know that blood clots embolisms they're nothing to play with. But that still didn't bother me until I was prescribed Eliquis, which is a blood dinner to help clear my clot. And then I was told to follow up with hematology and vascular to make sure there aren't any underlying issues. And then it started to hit me and I began to cry. I was so full of emotions I was like Lord, now what? Just when I think I'm doing better, I have another issue, another added medication, another setback and, to really think about it, I'm giving a medication that my mother had to take religiously because of her heart conditions. I was shaken and I needed to take some time. I had to really sit with this, it shook me to my core.

Speaker 2: 6:51

It brought back a memory of when I was freshly diagnosed with anxiety and depression and my doctor was trying to get me to take medications that I didn't want to. He said your body can't take many anxiety attacks and that your heart can't handle all of the stress. You have to find a way to deal with it or you will fall prone to heart issues, such as heart disease and other issues, and you may not make it past your 55th birthday. At that time I was 42 years old. Today I'm 52. And at that time I was thinking I'm going to fight this, I'm strong, I'll be all right, I have the Lord on my side, I'll get my health under control and I'm going to live a great life Right. And here I am, at 52. Having to take blood thinners, just like my mom, having yet another mental setback and wondering if I'm ever going to recover from this.

Speaker 2: 7:42

This hit me hard, right in the chest. It took the wind out of my sails and wounded me for a while. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection, Buddha. As I began to take the medication, it made me more tired than before. So hubby and I were back to quick pickup meals from our favorite restaurants. My husband didn't mind. He just said what do you want me to pick up for dinner? Are you moving your legs? Make sure you wear your compression socks and just keep moving as best you can. Boy did this blood clot hurt? I was like how is it that I didn't feel it until after I was diagnosed? It was just rest restless legs and now it's painful.

Speaker 2: 8:26

So as I rested, of course my children were concerned. My daughter was on Google. I was like, oh gosh. So here it is Now. I Feel the pain of your children being being your parents, right? She said, mom, while you are you laying there? Think of small ways to make changes into your daily routine. I was like, okay, baby girl, I hear you, and as I lay here, I'm going to think about ways that I can make changes to be here longer for y'all and for me. Right?

Speaker 2: 8:58

And as I was there laying there, I thought about my mom and I thought to myself that my mother was fighting cancer. She was fighting strokes on set, dementia, and she was still moving and grooving every day with a smile Praising the Lord. Every day I can hear her saying to me you are my child and you can get through this. Rest for now. Heal yourself, baby, pray to the Lord for strength, shake yourself off and get back to living. Don't just lie there. You have so much to live for. Prove them wrong and fight. I remember her going to the treatments with a smile and thanking the Lord that she was receiving treatment, and I thank the Lord that I could too. I was thankful that my inability to breathe thinking it was an anxiety attack sent me to the hospital, sent me to find this blood clot.

Speaker 2: 9:50

I suddenly slowly got up and said Lord, my word for this year is trust. There's a reason for this happening. Is it my wake up call that I need to do more for myself? What do I need to improve on? Or adjust in my well being techniques? Was this a gentle reminder to say hey, homegirl, you need to get back up to walking, get out to the fresh air again and do all the things you said you would and fell off on, I believe. So this was a shaking up that was needed to remind me to always check in on me and to ask myself are how ya doing beautiful? Are you okay? Today? That's when I took out my planner and got the planning.

Speaker 2: 10:32

I started to think about meals for the week, which I hadn't done before. I began to make sure that not only am I taking my medication, but my supplements for the day as well. I'm slowly beginning to track my meals again and refocusing my attention on getting well. We are talking about retirement, but what's the use of that if I'm not here to enjoy it? Right? Or have days with my grandshine. It was a reminder that I have a mighty group of women whom I call my prayer warriors. My other circle of trust was there for me and came through for the girl in prayers and calls and just in love. God showed me that I have what I need. I just have to tap into it wholeheartedly and continue on. One day at a time, on trial at a time, one triumph at a time, mindful moment.

Speaker 2: 11:22

Emotional, mental and physical setbacks come easily with mental wellness. Part of the worry with my family was that my movement has slowed down again, maybe aiding in my reasoning for getting the blood clot. Either way, this setback was huge for me. It literally almost sat me down for a while, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This unintended pause meant for me to take a picture of what I am not doing for myself again. I needed this gentle reminder to say hey, girlie, I need you to come back to me, let's reset. It's okay, you're going to be okay, but from here on I need you to do a couple things differently. And you know what I heard, what I needed to hear this time.

Speaker 2: 12:07

Some setbacks in life are meant to shake us to our core and get us to pay better attention to the messages we are not getting to show us what can be or will be, so we can make the necessary adjustments and pivot. So this is me pivoting, trying new techniques, holding myself accountable for the promises that I not only made to myself but also to God. I needed the women's retreat and the diagnosis, to knock the wind literally from me, to see how truly blessed I am to have healthcare, to have a praying sisterhood and have a loving support system to get me through another setback, reminding me that I am my mother's child and she is within me. I'm going to take the necessary steps to continue to heal and continue on my wellness journey, continue to share my truths and hopes of being inspiring others to do the same for themselves, reminding that pausing isn't a bad thing take your setback. One day at a time, one trial at a time, one triumph at a time. Love ya, girl.

Shannon D Martin: 13:12

If you enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. It really helps new listeners to find us and join our wellness community. Don't forget to stay connected with us across all our social platforms. At Shannon, d wellness. we've got plenty of exciting things in store, so be sure to join us on this journey towards wellness. Thank you for tuning in. Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional. The information provided here is for a general information purpose school and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need help, please consult a qualified mental health professional.