Shannon D. Martin: 0:00

Hello, beautiful welcome to today's conversation. We're going to talk about coping reset. Renew your mindset after set backs. Let's talk about it. I'm your host, Shannon Martin, and welcome to today's episode of this Thing Called Wellness. Hello again, I hope you're doing well and, if not, remember to show yourself some compassion.

Shannon D. Martin: 0:25

I've had an interesting beginning to the week. I had my vascular doctor's appointment and it was very interesting, to say the least. I haven't found out anything yet and have to wait for the results for two weeks. It's just going to send my anxiety through the roof, but I let it go and said that, whatever the news, I'm going to handle it and do what's needed to get through this. This reminded me of what we talked about last Wednesday, and I want to talk about how I'm coping with it all. I really sat down and asked myself what are three things I've done that have helped me cope with the news, and I'm beginning to realize that it's time to pivot and really I mean really start setting in stone some new strategies that I feel I can do right now and others that I can slowly incorporate into sound practices to practice every day in my life.

Shannon D. Martin: 1:18

After some time, I decided to reach out to my sister circle. If we don't have family or don't want to bother them, then your sister circle is the next best thing, and if they are praying warriors like mine, are then reach out to them and tell them what's going on with you. I know sometimes we feel that we don't want to tell them anything because we have been ill for a while and we don't like to say there's yet another thing going on with us, right? But reach out and just let them know. I wanted to ask them if they knew about blood clots. Have they had family members who have dealt with this before, and would you pray for me? Talking to those you love and who love you in return offers you an outside perspective that challenges your negative thought patterns or self criticism in a caring way. Love ones can provide a listening ear and offer comfort and support in a loving way, relieving some of the emotional stress that you are feeling and some offers advice that I didn't even think about, as well as letting me know that it's going to be alright, girl, and if I needed them, they're always here for me and they're always going to continue to hold me accountable for my well-being from here on out. A couple of my sisters share recipes with me so that we can try them together and hold each other accountable for eating healthier. I'm practicing gratitude with another and have started a prayer plan with another sister.

Shannon D. Martin: 2:38

The key here is to be vulnerable and completely open to those that you truly trust their concern and belief in your ability to overcome. This will bring you great comfort and joy. I know it has been that way for me, and the other reason why I go to this particular circle is that they too have all dealt with some form of depression, setback or anxiety themselves. They understand that mine may be more severe than theirs, but they can relate and understand in some way and how important it is to be present and listen and I really listen to understand what is needed from them at that time. If everyone has this, what you have, those who love you, will listen to you, understand you and what you are going through and will be there for you when you need them, even if it's just to listen. They know I will do the same for them. Being there for someone can bring hope when everything else seems hopeless, Dave G Llewelyn.

Shannon D. Martin: 3:41

Second, remember to practice self-compassion. I talked a little about this before. Show yourself some love and understanding in times of setbacks and just in general. But those with depression may not see or hear self-compassion at times. Depression has a way of magnifying low self-esteem and negative self-talk. You will literally talk yourself or think yourself into a deeper rut. You don't mean to, you just do my daughter said, mom, while you are resting and waiting to hear what's going on with you, think about ways you can start implementing positive changes into your lifestyle, the things that you're going to do, and start doing them one day at a time.

Shannon D. Martin: 4:22

Now with depression, I heard for a while you aren't doing enough. You should have been walking more than you wouldn't have this blood clot or have gained weight If you had really been watching and taking note of what you have been eating. Maybe you wouldn't have diabetes or these pains and aches in your body If you were doing this, and that you'd be better. Right, all those recurring discussions we have in our head creates this negative mindset that takes a while to overcome. This negative self-criticism is an ugly cycle that you have to be still for a moment and reset by resetting. You are asking yourself what is working and what isn't. You have to start where you are and where I want to be by next week not next month or next year, but next week.

Shannon D. Martin: 5:09

These steps and give yourself a goal. That's not complicated, but something you can do actually and love doing. That's the key. You can do anything. You put your mind to be realistic about it. I love walking, so I will walk at least twice this week for 15 minutes. I walk to the stop sign and back. I can do that. That's doable for me. I will journal for 10 minutes for two days this week, or I will read my devotional or my Bible for 10 to 15 minutes a day this week.

Shannon D. Martin: 5:43

If you do this, then keep going. You can try for the 2190 rule. Continue for 21 days to form the habit, in 90 days for it to become a permanent lifestyle change. Now to each his own, but it's worth a try, right? And then you can add a goal at a time, but take it slow, talk calmly to yourself and know that this is you pivoting and it's okay to not be okay. If you fall behind, be kind, be wide and start again. I know you're saying what's the point, right? The point is that you set aside time for yourself. Taking time out to pour into your own cup, filling it up so that you can pour into others. You have to start, if not it becomes that vicious cycle of no return. But allowing yourself compassion makes this journey to getting well more loving to you and for you. If your compassion does not include yourself, it is not complete, Dalai Lama.

Shannon D. Martin: 6:46

Lastly, I have been practicing gratitude. One of my sisters and I said that this year we wanted to practice gratitude and we were going to hold each other accountable. I didn't know that I would need this for my setbacks. I created a gratitude jar. It was floating around Facebook and I had been meaning to give it a try so that at the end of the year I could sit back and read all the goodness that has happened to me that year. I know that the gratitude journal is something I always wanted to try, but I keep forgetting about it. I had so many books and devotionals beside my bed that I had to declutter the side table and its drawers. I only keep my devotionals and one journal. It just became overwhelming for me. So the gratitude jar became so helpful in that way. I keep it on the kitchen counter so that when I walk into the kitchen I see it right away and I am reminded to write down what I am grateful for that day. I also have it set in my calendar so that if I don't do it daily, I would do it once a week or Sunday.

Shannon D. Martin: 7:46

Looking for things to be grateful for, daily shifts our perspective. Helping you bring positivity into your day, which helps to counteract your negative thoughts and feelings towards yourself. Practicing gratitude boosts emotions like joy, hope and optimism, the outweighs, sadness and discouragement. Gratitude brings psychological strength, reducing anxiety and depression. Gratitude helps you maintain a constructive mindset focused on abundance rather than scarcity during rough times. No matter how you choose to practice it in a journal or in a journal gratitude is an incredibly powerful coping tool, Mindful Moment.

Shannon D. Martin: 8:32

Today we talked about strategies to cope with our setbacks. We have to continue to work on ourselves and give ourselves self-compassion when we have them. Setbacks can happen often and we need to handle each one separately, but with love and understanding. Each setback will probably be different and surround a different set of circumstances, so with each one, we need to pause, be still and listen to what our bodies are saying each time. This time, my mental setback was due to finding a blood clot. Who knew it would send me spiraling and bring with it a set of emotions. I thought I had worked through, but was still there. So this time, and with each time, I sat with them, really sat with them. I had one of my sisters tell me look at what is working and what isn't. It's going to be okay. Even the Lord rested on the seventh day. So rest, take time out for yourself and listen. So I did. It took me a couple weeks to get myself up and ready to try again, but I got up.

Shannon D. Martin: 9:35

The most important thing to remember is that you have the will to want to get better. It's not very deep, it's there. Just reach out to it and hold on each and every time. It's a journey, a slow walk. It's not a race. It's your journey. No matter what derails, you Get back up and let's try this again. Talk to your trusted loved ones, hear them in a positive light, show your self-compassion by stopping, rewinding and trying again, and try practicing gratitude every day. Look for the good in the day, no matter how small. Turn the negative energy into joy, smiling and coping. One day at a time, one trial at a time and one triumph at a time. Love you, girl.

Shannon D. Martin: 10:24

Thank you for joining me. I hope you found value in today's conversation when we talked about coping, reset, renew your mindset after setbacks. I'm your host, Shannon Martin. Be sure to join us next Wednesday for we discuss handling our emotions. Until then, stay healthy and well, take care. If you enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen. It really helps the listeners find us and join our wellness community. Don't forget to stay connected with us on our social platforms, at Shannon d wellness we have plenty of exciting things in store. So be sure to join us on this journey towards a healthy and viable you. Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional. The information provided here is for general informational purposes only. It should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need help, please consult a qualified mental health professional.