Shannon D Martin: 0:00

Hello, beautiful Welcome to today's conversation. We're going to talk about breaking the cycle of doing nothing. Let's talk about it. I'm your host, Shannon Martin, and welcome to today's episode of This Thing Called Wellness. Hello and welcome back. I hope you're doing well on this rainy Wednesday. I'm not sure if it's raining where you are, but it's raining here.

Shannon D Martin: 0:25

I wanted to talk about finding myself back in a repetitive cycle of doing nothing. I don't know why I find myself repeatedly in this cycle, but I sat down and asked myself the questions why are we back here? Why can't I sit down and set goals and write out my plans? Why can't I get up and go outside for a walk? And don't use the excuse that it's raining all the time, because some days it's not. I don't know about you, but it's like you're buffering again.

Shannon D Martin: 0:57

Right, I'm up at midnight doing my work on my midnight shift. My insomnia has me sleeping on such an upside down schedule that I am sleeping when the world is up and buzzing. So how can I make these small changes to the cycle of doing nothing One? We have to recognize that we're back into this cycle of doing nothing. Isn't it funny how you've gone from being a super mom and super woman and doing everything to now you can't seem to or don't want to do anything.

Shannon D Martin: 1:31

I've been feeling unmotivated and unable to focus or concentrate. My sleep schedule is still upside down and not where I'd like it to be, and sometimes I just feel overwhelmed again. And then I ask why am I feeling overwhelmed? I don't feel that I'm where I'm supposed to be. I kept missing deadlines that I had set for myself and I felt like I was failing slowly. Then I asked myself how are you failing? Is this something that can be pushed back, or is it something that God is telling you to pause on? Maybe there's a reason you need to pause again. Remember your word for the year is trust right? So let's trust this process and sit ourselves down and unravel what may be going on.

Shannon D Martin: 2:18

Now that I had gotten the root of the problem of my pause and kind of understand what I was feeling, how can I slowly shake myself out of this repetitive cycle? We have to shake ourselves out of it slowly. Of course. I believe that my issue is that I'm not setting realistic goals and expectations for myself. I still find myself wanting to run when I need to walk at a reasonable pace. I need to be mindful of the fact that when my mental wellness sets in and causes a delayed pause, it's for a reason, and I always need to listen. Sometimes, sitting and doing nothing is the best something you can do.

Shannon D Martin: 3:00

Karen Salmansohn, once you recognize that you are back in this cycle, let's set some small, realistic goals. This has been another challenge for me, so this time I bought a planner called She Has Goals. It's a very detailed goal journal. It breaks down your goals into three main goals you want to accomplish within a year and breaks those goals down monthly and then weekly. Now that within itself challenged me to where I had to sit down and ask to sign up for her accountability classes. If I were in Dallas, Texas, I'd be attending her in-person classes, but you know, online classes had to do right.

Shannon D Martin: 3:39

She said to focus on one goal for the month Y'all. I was like what One goal? How is that even possible? I have the net that I need to accomplish at this time and she said no, what is your one goal you want to accomplish for this month of April? I couldn't believe it. I was like but you don't understand, I need to tweak this and that. And then I buffered. I buffered for a while, for the first week in April, because I was like, how can I just focus on one thing? I couldn't wrap my mind around not actually doing more than one thing at a time. I felt that that was unproductive, right, but I'm also buffering, so what can this hurt? Is it such a bad thing to focus on one goal at a time? To be honest, when overwhelm sets in and indecision, doubt and my low self-esteem, you know, started to creep in, I usually pause anyway for an undisclosed amount of time, but this time I knew that I was in a cycle of doing nothing. So I said I'm going to try this one goal for the month. So, no matter what else is going on, maybe this will help ease my overwhelm and my calm, to help calm down my anxiety that it's okay to focus on one thing at a time, maybe just to help me be more productive.

Shannon D Martin: 5:04

I've always been told to focus on one thing at a time. We're not good at multitasking, but I've never actually practiced it because I'm a work in progress. I was a stay-at-home mom, super mom, and I always multitask because there always had to be something done. So I'm not used to doing one thing at a time. It was always several things, several plates in the air, type of thing. But now I'm in a different stage in my life and I had to reel myself in and remind myself that I don't have to do that anymore and also I'm in a different mental space now than I was then.

Shannon D Martin: 5:41

So I sat down and I chose my goal for the month and then when I did that, guess what happened? The whole doubt set in. It said maybe you shouldn't focus on that particular goal, maybe you should focus on this with this thing, right? But I said no, let me reel my little wandering thoughts back in and get off the hamster wheel, because that first thought that I had and what I needed to accomplish was what I needed to accomplish. So I said this month of April I'm going to focus on this because evidently that's what God has intended for me to focus on.

Shannon D Martin: 6:13

So I had one professional goal, which is to focus on my podcast, and my personal goal is to focus on me moving, so podcast and walking. I love to walk, so walking it is whenever it's not raining. So I have 21 days left in this month, no pressure, right? So I'm going to do it. I'm going to set this time for 21 days to finish what I started for the goal of April. And I want you to ask yourself what goal do you want to complete by the end of this month? And let's do that. If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. By all means, keep moving, Martin Luther King Jr.

Shannon D Martin: 7:01

Now I need to find my sense of harmony, because balance is kind of fleeting. You know, we've always tried to be balanced but you're never really balanced. So let's just find some harmony and kind of harmonize our lives. So in our lives I have to remember to be kind. Let's remember to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves what? Some more grace.

Shannon D Martin: 7:24

You've heard me repeat myself many times saying this, because when we're in this cyclical state of what we think is doing nothing, we are the hardest on ourselves. I have been saying to myself I know you could do better than this. Why can't you focus? Why can't you hash this out? Or I never took this long before and I had to stop, I had to pause. That was my negative thought patterns and self-criticism at work. I had to practice self-compassion and give myself permission to reset and recharge because evidently this was the pause that was needed. At this time again, I needed to journal. I picked my journal back up and journaled my thoughts away. I prayed, I found my prayer devotionals and I read my verses for the day to get me back on track with the time I promised I'd spend with the Lord.

Shannon D Martin: 8:14

Another thing I had to give myself grace on is my sleep routine. I know that this is extremely important to get proper sleep. I just can't sleep what others consider to be a normal sleep pattern. I have been giving myself grief about it because I've become a night owl. I've kind of always been a night owl being a mom. You know you can when you find your time is either in between, when everybody's doing something, or at one time a night time. So it kind of fell later, later and later. And then, when my anxiety and depression set in, it became later and later, and then the insomnia set in with the menopause. So I had all these things just setting in. So now I'm later in my sleep and maybe now these are just the hours that work best for me. Maybe this is my zone. I know that my therapist and my husband want me to be up and about with everyone else, because night sleep is the best sleep to reset our bodies, right, that's when you get your REM sleep, when you get your deep sleep. But right now my body just isn't there. So I have to give myself a hard pass on this for now, until I can reset my internal clock. And what is everyone thinking about that?

Shannon D Martin: 9:28

This schedule that you have to be on has really been giving me more stress than stress itself. It's one thing for me to sit here and try to go to sleep and try to be on a schedule, but when you have someone constantly telling you that we can't do this or that because you're always sleeping I'm not always sleeping, that's just the time that I'm asleep. We can't make this and that with you because you're sleeping that made me begin to feel um, bothersome and it became cumbersome. So, like now, I'm up at two o'clock in the morning recording this. This is my jam, this is my creative zone, this is my time that I function creatively, and it usually stops about seven o'clock in the morning, right, so this is my time.

Shannon D Martin: 10:22

Can I explain it? Don't know why it is, but I am on the graveyard shift, the midnight shift, whatever you want to call it. This is my time that I'm usually up, but if you need me to be somewhere, I can be there. I'll take a little nap and be fine, ready to go, because my sleep is jagged. It doesn't bother me. So what I've had to do is I've had to set up a boundary around that and I'm learning that now that was part of the pause. I was being really hurt by all of that. So here's the boundary wall. I need to put the boundary back up around my sleep routine. It's hindering me because all of this and I can't keep it up. So I keep reminding myself to do a regular check-in before I hit this low point right and remember to practice my self-care, to nourish my mind, body and spirit, to create harmony in my life so that I can be flexible. But also setting these boundaries when I find myself off track, we can always pause, reset and begin where we are. Mindful moment.

Shannon D Martin: 11:38

When you find yourself back in a cycle of doing nothing first, I want you to flip that thought. It's not a cycle of doing nothing, it's a cycle of self-restoration. We live in a world that says we have to grind. Whether we grind, pretty or not, we are taught we have to be doing something or we're doing nothing worthwhile. Let's turn an idea into a need for rest and restoration.

Shannon D Martin: 12:01

Sometimes our environments aren't healthy and it drains our energy to the point where we can't focus or function daily. We are constantly reminded of who we are not, where we're not going or who we are not becoming, and it's hard on our mental well-being, especially when we're just trying to make it through yet another challenging day. Get away from the negative environment. And if you can't try to create a space of positivity let's find a space you can go to when you need to recharge, even if it's for 10 to 15 minutes, if it's in your car, a closet or an empty room. Let's create this space of calm.

Shannon D Martin: 12:39

First, we recognize the cycle and we realize we were buffering, maybe having headaches, feeling tired or having tense muscles. So we walk, listen to our praise music or do something we enjoy Burn your candles, read a good book or watch something funny to make you laugh out loud. Should we set realistic small goals that are bite-sized chunks that we can accomplish in a month, to feel good about what we're doing in our daily lives, be it work, personal or entrepreneurial. Then we continue to create wonderful harmony in our mental spaces as best we can by rinsing and repeating spending time with God. Journaling and using any tool that will get those negative thoughts out of your head will help us feel ourselves back up with positivity. Open up that box of affirmations that you have stashed in your drawer I'm talking to me too. Pin them up where you can see them. Talk to yourself lovingly daily and become your own cheerleader.

Shannon D Martin: 13:40

This is going to be a continuous journey to healing. I've never thought it would take this long, to be honest, to get well, but it is. And I have to continue to practice love and self-compassion and give myself a whole lot of grace and remember to smile. That's half the battle. Love you, girl. Thank you for joining me. I hope you found value in today's conversation where we talked about breaking the cycle of doing nothing. I'm your host, Shannon Martin. Be sure to join us next Wednesday when we discuss Self-Restoration. Until then, stay healthy and well, take care.

Shannon D Martin: 14:18

If you enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. It helps listeners find us and join our wellness community. And don't forget to stay connected with us across all our social platforms. At Shannon D Wellness, we've got plenty of exciting things in store. Make sure to join us on this journey towards a more healthier, more vibrant you. Thanks for tuning in. Disclaimer I am not a licensed mental health professional. The information provided here is for general informational purposes only. It should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need help, please consult a qualified mental health professional.